Finding Your True Self

Finding Your True Self is Sure to Be a Life-Changing Experience!

Do you know who you really are? Do you live your true self day in and day out? For many of us, these are questions we rarely ask ourselves, and all too often, we do not live fully in accordance with our authentic nature. Finding your true self is a journey of discovery, enlightenment, and reflection that will change your live, as it continues to be for me. Let’s get started, shall we?

In this postmodern age—where massive changes occur at lightning speed—we encounter an increasing number of obstacles that hinder us from living as our true selves. There are overwhelming pressures all around that detach us from our genuine identity, causing us to lose sight of who we truly are. As a result, many of us end up living only parts of our true selves. Typically, we feel free to reveal our authentic colors within our trusted circle of family and friends, where we are not afraid to be vulnerable. However, the other part of our life is often spent adopting a different persona that contradicts our true nature, which is very detrimental to our overall well-being and happiness.

10 Obstacles That Prevent You from Being Who You Really Are

When you are unable to be your true self at all times, you gradually become frustrated and disillusioned with life. Although your success and achievements may not be visibly hindered, there remains a pervasive feeling that something is missing and that happiness is fleeting. This sense of incompleteness arises because you have become detached from your authentic self. Below are ten common causes for why this disconnection can happen:

1. Peer Pressure – Peer pressure can lead you to engage in behaviors, such as smoking or drinking, that you are not truly comfortable with, simply to fit in.
2. Career Pressure – The pressures of advancing in your career may force you to compromise your core values for the sake of getting ahead.
3. Work Environment Expectations – A work environment that demands you adopt values that are not in alignment with your true self can make you feel conflicted and constrained.
4. Stifled Creativity and Talent – When your work environment stifles your creativity and talent, it prevents you from expressing your genuine self and limits your personal growth.
5. Excessive Approval-Seeking – Trying too hard to gain approval and praise from others can lead to a distortion of your true identity, causing internal conflict.
6. Social Pressure – Social pressures force you to conform to certain norms that may not reflect who you truly are, leaving you feeling disconnected.
7. Family Expectations – Family expectations about how you should behave and live your life can be a significant barrier to expressing your authentic self.
8. Religious Pressure – The pressure to conform to specific religious views or practices can restrict your personal beliefs and individuality.
9. Comparison with Others – Constantly comparing yourself to others and feeling inferior can erode your self-esteem and lead you to abandon your true identity.
10. Low Self-Acceptance – A lack of self-acceptance may cause you to adopt a persona that is not true to who you are, ultimately preventing you from realizing your full potential.

Live Fully as Your Detached Self

The secret to your greatness, success, and happiness is to live life on your own terms. It is about having the courage and confidence to be who you really are every single day. Embracing this challenge will help you reawaken your true self and allow you to live it to the fullest in every area of your life.

The 7 challenges presented here are designed to ensure that you become completely comfortable, accepting, and proud of yourself and everything you have to offer. With practical action steps, you can learn to get in touch with your true self and maintain that connection over time. In short, when you reconcile with yourself, you are empowered to navigate through life on your own terms and, ultimately, always come out a winner.

Day 1 – Get Acquainted with Your True Self

Who you really are goes far beyond your name, looks, education, and social background. Yes, all of these factors play a role in shaping your overall identity, but your true self is much more intricate and multifaceted than any single aspect of your background. The goal of this challenge is to help you become acquainted with your true self by providing you with valuable insights into who you really are.

This challenge is a simple yet profound exercise in honest self-contemplation. To begin, grab a pencil and a notebook to record your reflections. Answer the following questions with a brief response for each:

• Am I an introvert or an extrovert?
  Keep in mind that neither is inherently good or bad. If you are an introvert and prefer solitude or engaging in personal pursuits, then that is perfectly acceptable. Forcing yourself to plunge into noisy social engagements that do not suit your natural disposition can be stressful.
• What activities do you love doing the most in your spare time?
  Consider what hobbies or interests bring you joy and fulfillment when you have time for yourself.
• Do you feel that you are in your ideal career?
  If not, what would your ideal career or job look like? Reflect on the aspects of work that resonate with your true passions.
• What are the core values that reflect your moral standards and beliefs?
  Identify the principles that guide your actions and decisions.
• If you are religious, are you comfortable practicing and displaying your faith?
  If so, in what ways do you express your beliefs? If not, what obstacles are preventing you from doing so?
• What kinds of people do you like being around, and why?
  Think about the qualities in others that make you feel energized and understood.
• Are you able to express your views openly without feeling shy or embarrassed about them?
  Consider how freely you share your thoughts and whether you hold back due to fear of judgment.
• How do the people around you perceive you? Do you feel their perceptions are right or wrong?
  Reflect on how external opinions affect your self-image and how you view yourself.
• What causes are you most passionate about?
  Identify the issues or topics that stir strong emotions and inspire you to take action.
• Are your goals truly aligned with what you want to achieve in life, or do you feel pressured to conform to expectations?
  Analyze whether your ambitions stem from your own desires or from external influences.
• If you could go back two years in time, what would you do differently?
  Reflect on past choices and consider what changes you might make with the wisdom you have now.
• Are you proud of your unique talents and skills, and do you display them often?
  Evaluate whether you celebrate your personal strengths and allow them to shine.

The Goal: Once you have answered all the questions in this challenge, write a brief statement or create a list of the qualities that make you who you are. When you have finished, you will have a clearer perception of your true self and a solid understanding of the qualities and values that reflect your real identity. This exercise will provide you with a firm foundation on which to build during the following six challenges, guiding you further along the journey to living an authentic and fulfilling life.

Day 2 – Put Your Best Foot Forward

Your physical appearance is an integral part of your true self, and let’s face it—we are all self-conscious to varying degrees. Even the most gorgeous supermodel might think her feet are too big or that her eyes are too small. This challenge is designed to help you become more comfortable in your own skin while keeping self-consciousness to a minimum. Displaying your physical appearance with pride and confidence means reflecting your true self without embarrassment. Complete the challenge by practicing the following steps:

• Be Realistic

Consider how severely you might be magnifying your perceived physical shortcomings. Often, we tend to exaggerate our flaws many times over to the point where they can undermine our confidence. This tendency can lead us to cave in to the pressures around us, eventually causing us to become someone we are not, simply to compensate for what we believe are defects. For example, someone who perceives themselves as too short might feel compelled to associate only with taller or more conventionally attractive people, adopting their views and behavior even if they do not feel comfortable with them.

Alternatively, another person might resort to making constant jokes about his short stature in an effort to convince others—and even himself—that he does not feel embarrassed by it. Instead, be realistic about your shortcomings: acknowledge that some aspects, such as height or skin color, cannot be changed, and recognize if you are unnecessarily magnifying certain features like a big nose or prominent ears. While some flaws can be fixed with cosmetic surgery, it is wise to hold off on taking such drastic steps for now. The key is to identify your shortcomings as you perceive them without letting them be exaggerated in your mind.

• See the Bigger Picture

Recognize that all your physical attributes—both the good and the less desirable—come together to form the unique person that you are. Each characteristic plays its part in making you one-of-a-kind, and it is important to remind yourself that this combination is your identity for better or for worse. However, also keep in mind that what you have to offer goes far beyond mere physical qualities. When you focus on the bigger picture each day, you will find that you become less self-conscious and more confident about your overall appearance.

• Highlight the Good

Work with what you have by showcasing your best physical features. For instance, choose clothes that enhance the color of your eyes or complement your beautiful hair. If you have a great smile with good teeth, take care to keep them white and dazzling. Consider accentuating features such as slim hands with unique pieces of jewelry or other stylish accessories.

Likewise, try to find your true fashion sense by experimenting with different colors and styles. Rather than running after every fleeting fashion trend, choose colors and styles that truly resonate with who you are. Experiment with different looks that might make you appear taller or slimmer, or that simply enhance the features you love most about your appearance.

The Goal: Let’s face it—appearances do matter. You can learn to put your best foot forward by working with what you have and accepting yourself as you are. When you feel comfortable in your own skin, you radiate confidence and are seen as someone who takes pride in their looks. This natural confidence will generate admiration and respect from others, further boosting your self-esteem and overall sense of well-being.

Day 3 – Master Self-Acceptance

Self-acceptance is directly proportional to living fully as your true self. The more accepting you are of your true identity, the more naturally you will behave and display your genuine self. Conversely, the less self-acceptance you have, the more likely you are to exhibit qualities and behaviors that are not truly yours. You may also be more prone to succumbing to peer pressure and behaving or thinking in ways that are not natural to you.

Self-acceptance is a powerful tool that keeps you grounded in who you really are. More importantly, it makes you proud of your identity, boosts your confidence, and enhances your inner peace. Here are some practices that will help you develop self-acceptance:

• Remind yourself every day that you fully accept and embrace yourself just as you are. Repeating this affirmation daily will help program your brain to adopt this thought permanently, guiding your behavior accordingly. Use other positive affirmations and repeat them to yourself every day, reinforcing your commitment to self-love.
• Pay attention to your body language. Ensure that it is open and positive, sending the message that you are comfortable and confident in your own skin. Consider taking a body language course or watching tutorials and practicing in front of a mirror. With regular practice, your body language will become more open and natural, and you will feel increasingly at ease with yourself.
• Practice speaking your mind and expressing your emotions. You may already do this among your close friends and family, so gradually train yourself to extend this behavior into every area of your life. Although you might not always receive the same support and encouragement, you will gradually learn to stand firm in your beliefs. Always remind yourself that your views and opinions are as valuable as anyone else’s and are absolutely worthy of being expressed.
• Always be genuine. This quality is easy to recognize because when you are not behaving naturally, you feel uncomfortable. When you catch yourself acting in a way that feels inauthentic, make a conscious effort to bring your true self forward and behave naturally.
• Always celebrate your achievements and rejoice in them. Better yet, share your successes with the people closest to you. Acknowledging your accomplishments reinforces your self-worth and encourages further growth.
• Don’t take failure personally or allow it to detract from your true self. Learn to grow from the lessons that failure provides, understanding that setbacks breed resilience and wisdom. In other words, failure is an integral part of who you are and who you become as you continue to grow and evolve.

The Goal: The goal of this challenge is to help you remain true to yourself and to fully accept who you are. If you find yourself struggling at the beginning, keep practicing these steps. Over time, you will find that you become more genuine and completely at peace with your true self, enabling you to navigate life with increased confidence and authenticity.

Day 4 – Manifest Your True Self with a Vision Board

Visualization is an incredibly powerful tool for shifting both behavior and thought patterns. A vision board serves as an excellent method to practice visualization and keep your true self in the forefront of your mind. The goal of this challenge is to bring your true self to life through a personal vision board that continually reminds you of who you are and what you value.

You have several options for creating your vision board. You can use a digital platform—many websites offer this service free of charge—or create your vision board on your computer with a simple slideshow accompanied by music. Alternatively, you may prefer a physical vision board, where you paste or pin your images onto a corkboard or sheet of cardboard. Follow these steps to create and effectively use your vision board:

• Collect images that resonate with your true self.
  For instance, if you are athletic, gather images that depict your favorite sport or even photos of yourself engaged in the activity. If you are passionate about animal rights, choose images that reflect your commitment. For introverts, consider images of people in serene settings—reading in quiet corners or communing with nature—to capture your preferred way of being.
• Gather a diverse range of images that reflect the various aspects of your true self.
  Create a collage that encompasses the full spectrum of your identity. This assortment will serve as a visual representation of who you are in all your complexity.
• Interweave quotes or affirmations with your images.
  Adding words that describe your true self or encapsulate your values can enhance the board’s impact and serve as daily reminders of your personal affirmations.
• Customize your vision board to suit your personal taste.
  There are no fixed rules regarding how simple or elaborate your vision board should be. You might prefer a few powerful images that deeply speak to you, or you might create an extensive collage that covers the entire board. The important thing is that it resonates with you personally, and you can always update it by adding or removing images as your journey unfolds.
• Dedicate at least five minutes each day to fully focus on your vision board.
  It’s perfectly fine to spend more time if you have it. Sit with your board, allowing your eyes and mind to absorb the images and affirmations.
• Immerse yourself in the experience.
  Reflect on how the images and quotes represent who you really are and the wonderful, unique person you are. Let the positive emotions that arise uplift you. Enhancing this experience with soothing music can further deepen the impact of your daily visualization practice.

How a Vision Board Works

• Visualization sends powerful signals to your brain.
  The act of repeatedly visualizing your true self helps reinforce positive thoughts and beliefs.
• The positive experience of engaging with your vision board retrains your brain.
  Your brain begins to recognize that these images and thoughts are beneficial, gradually replacing previous misconceptions with new, positive ones that truly reflect who you are.
• Over time, your brain adopts a new mindset.
  This transformation guides your behavior more authentically, helping you manifest your true self in every aspect of your life with the power of visualization.

The Goal: This challenge is designed to create a profound mind shift that keeps your true self at the top of your mind at all times. More importantly, it will ignite and awaken your inner essence so that it is consistently reflected in everything you say and do. Embrace the process, and allow your vision board to be a daily catalyst for personal growth and authentic living.

Day 5 – Don’t Compromise Your Convictions

Invariably, people who have the courage of their convictions are those who fully live as their true selves. These individuals feel in harmony with the world, experiencing greater fulfillment and happiness. They possess strong self-acceptance and the wisdom to understand that not everyone will always agree with them.

Your convictions represent your core values and beliefs—they are at the very heart of who you truly are. This challenge is designed to help you identify these fundamental principles and ensure you never compromise them for anything. Follow the steps below to strengthen your commitment to your values:

• Identify Your Core Values:
  Begin by listing the core values that define you. For example, you might be deeply religious, lean conservative or liberal, prioritize honesty above all else, or choose to abstain from smoking and drinking. Perhaps you hold strong views on life issues, such as being pro-life or against abortion. Recognize which of these values are most important to you and why they matter.
• Reflect on Your Expression of Convictions:
  Consider whether you express your convictions openly and purposefully. Reflect on past situations where you may have compromised your values—such as drinking alcohol in a social setting to feel accepted, even though you are not a drinker. Acknowledge these instances and determine strategies to avoid similar compromises in the future.
• Prepare to Defend Your Values:
  Be ready to calmly defend your convictions when they are challenged. Respond with dignity and poise rather than hostility or anger. This measured approach not only demonstrates the strength of your beliefs but also earns respect from those who may disagree with you.
• Surround Yourself with Like-Minded People:
  Engage with individuals who share your values. This supportive environment will bolster your confidence and help you remain steadfast when your beliefs are ridiculed or opposed. Remember, even among like-minded peers, consensus is rare; it is important to maintain your stance regardless of external pressure.
• Stay True to Your Unconventional Views:
  If your values are progressive or unconventional, resist the pressure to conform to methods that do not align with your true self. Recall the great icons in history who defied convention and forged their own paths. The satisfaction of living on your own terms far outweighs the cost of compromising your identity by succumbing to tradition.
• Respond to Criticism with Respect:
  It is natural to feel offended when your values are ridiculed or attacked. However, avoid reciprocating with offense. Keep an open mind to others’ views while remaining firm in your own convictions. Clearly communicate that you expect the same respect that you extend to others.

The Goal: These steps are designed to help you stand by your values and remain unwavering in your convictions. It is vital that you never compromise these core elements of your identity—they are more integral to your true self than even your physical appearance or other personal characteristics. By adhering to your beliefs, you not only preserve your authenticity but also inspire others to honor their own convictions.

Day 6 – Expand Your True Self

As you reconnect more and more with your true self, an amazing transformation will take place in your life. You will experience less stress because you are more at one with yourself, and your achievements will carry deeper meaning since they are realized on your own terms and in alignment with your values. Even your relationships will improve, as you become more capable of engaging with others in a sincere and authentic manner.

But remember—there is always room for improvement! The goal of the challenge for Day 6 is to show you how to expand and grow your true self. Never be content with simply living on your own terms; always look for ways to continue expressing and embodying your true self more fully. The following steps will get you started, but feel free to explore your own special ways to continue to blossom and grow:

• Keep your special skills and talents honed and up-to-date.
  Continue to improve and expand upon them until you have truly mastered your abilities. This ongoing refinement will add to your sense of achievement and instill a deep sense of pride in yourself.
• Embrace the habit of lifelong learning to build on your true self.
  Broaden your mind and enrich your life by learning new things that are in harmony with who you are. Read, study, and explore topics that interest you or even pursue an academic degree or certification in a field you are passionate about. Additionally, stay well-informed about the causes you care about so that you can defend them more effectively.
• Enhance your physical well-being while accepting your appearance.
  While it is important to accept your physical appearance, you can always find ways to improve it. Stay fit and healthy by eating well and exercising regularly. Consider making small lifestyle adjustments—such as losing a few pounds if necessary or toning up trouble spots—that can contribute to your overall appearance. You might even explore minor procedures, like teeth whitening, which can greatly boost both your appearance and self-confidence.
• Uncover new layers of your true self by exploring different hobbies and activities.
  Experiment with creative pursuits such as writing, playing music, or acting. You may be surprised to discover amazing talents that have been lying dormant within you, waiting for an opportunity to shine.
• Enhance your self-pride by connecting with like-minded people as often as possible.
  For example, if you are an advocate for animal rights, join a community or group of individuals who share your passion. Engaging with others who hold similar values will provide you with inspiration and further reinforce your own beliefs.
• Find a mentor who shares your values and ideas.
  A mentor can offer invaluable guidance by demonstrating how they deal with pressure, interact with others, and stay grounded in their convictions. Observing and learning from someone whose approach resonates with your own can accelerate your personal growth.

The Goal: You should never come to a standstill but continue to grow and blossom throughout your lifetime. Always push your limits, think outside the box, and never stop growing. By doing so, you will not only find more fulfillment and joy in life but also uncover new opportunities that allow you to soar to new heights, all while remaining true to the person you truly are.

Day 7 – Rejoice in Your Uniqueness

The final challenge is simple. Now that you have reconnected with your true self, one thing should be very clear: you are a unique and special person. All of your qualities—both the strengths and the weaknesses—are part of your distinctive uniqueness. There is nobody else exactly like you in the entire world.

Now, your goal is to celebrate your uniqueness and rejoice in being the one-of-a-kind person that you are. The following steps will show you how to do that:

• Compare Yourself to Others the Right Way
  Comparing ourselves to others is a natural tendency that we all share. However, there is a right way and a wrong way to do it. The wrong way is to envy someone for a specific quality or talent that you feel you lack, which may lead you to feel inferior. The right way is to use comparison as a tool to recognize your own strengths. For example, you might envy someone for being more conventionally attractive than you. Instead of feeling inferior, reframe your thoughts by saying, “She may be better looking than me, but she doesn’t have my incredible sense of humor.” The key is to compare in a way that helps you appreciate your own unique attributes rather than diminishing your self-worth.
• Strengthen Relationships with Those Who Admire and Accept You
  Invest time in nurturing relationships with people who appreciate you just as you are. These supportive relationships will skyrocket your confidence and self-belief. Because these people genuinely care about you, don’t hesitate to listen to their constructive criticism with an open mind. In fact, actively seeking feedback and advice from those who accept you will help you grow and improve while reinforcing the value of your true self.
• Celebrate Your Achievements and Milestones
  Always take time to praise yourself for a job well done. Reward yourself with appropriate treats for every success achieved on your own terms. Share your successes with others and bask in their praise and admiration, while remembering to remain modest and humble. Acknowledging your achievements reinforces the strength of your individuality and motivates you to keep striving for more.
• Display Your Uniqueness Every Day
  Find creative ways to express your uniqueness daily. Whether it’s engaging in a hobby that is close to your heart or practicing one of your special skills, let your individuality shine. Daily acts that reflect your true self serve as a constant reminder of who you are and help solidify your self-identity.
• Give Gratitude for Your Uniqueness
  Take a moment every day to express gratitude for your individuality and the abundance it brings into your life. Recognize that your unique traits contribute to your personal journey and are an essential part of your overall success and happiness.
• Praise Yourself for Your Courage and Resilience
  Always acknowledge your bravery in standing up to the pressures around you and living your true self every day. Celebrate the inner strength that has enabled you to remain authentic despite challenges, and remind yourself that your resilience is a vital part of what makes you exceptional.

The Goal: Rejoicing in your uniqueness will make you more resilient and practically invincible. By fully celebrating and embracing who you are, you will be better equipped to forge ahead with purpose and confidence, knowing that despite any perceived shortcomings, you are truly great and incredibly fortunate to be exactly who you are.

Conclusion

Let’s recap how each challenge builds on the next to reawaken your true self:

Day 1 – Get Acquainted with Your True Self:
This challenge helps you reconnect with the aspects of your true self that you may have lost along the way. By engaging in honest self-reflection, you lay a solid foundation of self-awareness that will support all the subsequent challenges.

Day 2 – Put Your Best Foot Forward:
Here, you learn to accept and celebrate your physical appearance. This challenge encourages you to work with what you have, enhancing your self-image and building the confidence to present your authentic self to the world.

Day 3 – Master Self-Acceptance:
Self-acceptance is a powerful tool that grounds you in who you really are. By mastering this challenge, you develop resilience and a deep sense of inner peace, empowering you to stay true to your identity no matter what external pressures you face.

Day 4 – Manifest Your True Self with a Vision Board:
Visualization is key to rewiring your brain to focus on your true self. Creating a vision board brings your core qualities and aspirations to life, guiding your thoughts and behaviors so that you consistently manifest the person you truly want to be.

Day 5 – Don’t Compromise Your Convictions:
Your values and beliefs form the core of your identity. This challenge helps you identify and stand firmly by your convictions, displaying them with pride and ensuring that you never compromise the principles that define you.

Day 6 – Expand Your True Self:
There is always room for growth and improvement. In this challenge, you’re encouraged to continuously develop your skills, explore new interests, and embrace lifelong learning. Expanding your true self allows you to adapt, evolve, and uncover hidden aspects of your identity.

Day 7 – Rejoice in Your Uniqueness:
The final challenge is all about celebrating what makes you uniquely you. By embracing and rejoicing in your individual traits, you build unstoppable confidence and resilience, knowing there is no one else in the world quite like you.

Living fully as your true self is the secret to happiness and fulfillment, and this powerful challenge makes it accessible and achievable. So, what are you waiting for? Take the challenge today and begin your journey toward a more authentic, joyful, and empowered life!

I’m bestselling USA Today and Wall Street Journal author Connie Ragen Green. My goal is to help at least a thousand people to reach six-figures and beyond with an online business for time freedom and passive income and to simplify your life. Come along with me, if you will and let us discover how we may further connect to achieve all of your dreams and goals. This is also why I want you to think about finding your true self as you move forward. Perhaps my “Monthly Mentoring Program” is right for you.