Some Manners, Please: Frankly, My Dear, I DO Give a D—!
This is a guest post from the amazing and talented Ruth Anita Foote. I hope you will enjoy this story she is sharing with us here, and will reach out to connect further with her. I agree that manners… please are more important now than at any other time in my life. ~ Connie Ragen Green
The first time I heard a curse word broadcasted, I did a double-take look at the TV screen. A quick jerk, an automatic reflex. I couldn’t believe what I had just heard. I thought I had imagined it.
I really should go back to high school when I really first heard such words broadcasted on our favorite radio show. At the time, we had to wait until late night for the Isley Brothers’ popular song Fight the Power’s uncut version of “all this bull—” going down.
Somewhere in between then and now, we also became too doggone PC. Our fan favs back in the day would definitely fall out of favor in today’s climate. Both Archie Bunker and George Jefferson would be censored, and both would be vilified across all platforms. And yet, we adored Archie and George, and it was a double-double treat whenever their worlds collided. We laughed, but we were also smh — just like Meathead and Lionel, and we also felt sorry for Edith and Louise as well.
But their biased antics did not stop us from enjoying the comedic characters. We understood and accepted them for who they were. We knew they existed, and had probably met them in real life. We did not agree with their antics, necessarily, but respected their right to exist.
As for Sanford & Son, Fred would have probably made it to Elizabeth if he had lived in today’s era. Yet we enjoyed Fred being Fred, and it was a double-double treat, and sometimes, even a triple one, when he and Aunt Esther came to blows, or fisty-cuffs as my mother would peg it. We also felt sorry for Lamont who was always caught in the middle.
I think of Seinfeld — by golly, it would have never made it to second base. No siree! It would have been cancelled before the season got underway. And by gosh, and darn it, we would have missed out on all that laughter and iconic catch-phrases for decades to come.
But those are not the manners I am referring to.
I’m talking about the down-to-earth basic ones, beginning with “Yes ma’am” and “No sir.” Yes, we have to go back that far because somewhere along our journey, rhyme and reason have flown the coup. And vulgar and downright rudeness have taken their place.
How did this happen? And why?
As a journalist, it was hard enough to watch the news media insert themselves into stories, but now they’re making Walter Cronkite not only roll over in his grave, but blush in the process. And I am talking about all media: liberal, conservative, in-between, and whatever. And that includes the podcasters as well.
Moreover, why would they even be inserting curse words into their news broadcasts? Why is that suddenly cool, the “in” thing to do?
Whether we support her or not, why is it fashionable to refer to a White House press secretary as a word that means a female dog? It should have nothing to do with our personal feelings when it comes to her role or her delivery. I was floored to hear a podcaster actually refer to the current one as that “lying b—!” Why did he feel that was necessary? What happened to respect and decency?
And for that matter, why are our national women candidates and elected leaders, in particular, also being unnecessarily — and rudely — attacked? I’m not naive enough to think it has not been going on for a long time, probably beginning with Shirley Chisolm, and streaming down through the decades: from Geraldine Ferraro, Hillary Clinton, Sarah Palin, and Kamala Harris, to lower-leveled candidates as well. Why are prominent women such easy targets? I find that — and attacking men candidates and leaders in such manner — distasteful.
Whether we liked or voted for a particular candidate, including our recent presidents, why have we allowed our discontent with them to mushroom into downright rudeness and vile language? What happened to respect? Why can’t we just revert back to debating issues without all the name-calling? Why can’t we agree to disagree?
Why can’t we go high?
We have taken it too far, and it is past time to reign it in.
After all, what are our children thinking? Frankly, my dear, I’m too scared to ask.
I can’t help but wonder what happens in seventh grade civic classes today? How do teachers keep a straight face?
And yet we know that children are our biggest imitators, and they do what they see. We do not want to be the role models who practice: “Do as I say, not as I do.”
But it sure looks like we’re already there.
The Bible says in Exodus 20:12, “Honour thy father and thy mother: that thy days may be long upon the land which the Lord thy God giveth thee.” It does not say to honor our parents because they were great parents and deserving of our love and affection.
That brings to mind the Golden Rule in Luke 6:31: “And as ye would that men should do to you, do ye also to them likewise.” Of course, we know it as: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.”
Once again, we do not forgive people for their sake, but for our sake — for our peace and well-being.
If Rhett and Scarlett knew about our future, they would probably thank Margaret Mitchell for writing them into their Civil War era, even though her novel Gone With the Wind, and particularly, the Oscar-winning movie that followed, were criticized for their historical and racial portrayals. But that is another story for another day.
For now, we may need to just wash our mouths out with soap. Wasn’t that what they did in the old days?
Kidding aside, note that as I pen these words, I speak from experience. I am scolding myself, too.
Years ago, I lost it with a coworker. I could blame it on tension building up, disregarding transgressions, and pretending that I was not upset. And then one inevitable day, I blew my gasket, and fumed!
I could hear another coworker on the sideline, shouting, “Stop Ruth! Stop!” Her words sounded like a chant, background music, as I raged on. I could have easily embraced her words, but chose instead to ignore them. Finally, it ended, probably when I ran out of steam, and I walked back to my office. I did not feel good about what had happened, nor the words that had transpired.
Moreover, I did not feel good about myself.
I was ashamed.
Within minutes, I found myself reversing my steps, and strolling down the hall to her office. I apologized sincerely. I meant every word, and I regretted my prior mean-spirited words that spewed from my mouth, but I had been too stubborn to block them by shutting up.
We hugged it out. And everything was right with the world again.
Just the other day, in the checkout line, a manager thanked me immensely for pointing out a mistake that she had made that would have made her cash register come up short. I laughed and said, “Thank my mother!”
After all, I was part of that generation reared on Proverbs 22:6, “Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.”
I am not perfect, and curse words have also peppered my comments at times — mostly, in informal settings, but that Bible verse has remained with me, and within me.
The manager thanked me again. And I smiled and repeated my statement, a tribute to my mother, “Thank my mother!”
And the elderly woman behind me replied, “Thank you — for learning it!”
Mama would be proud. I was.
I’m Ruth Anita Foote, an award-winning journalist, historian, author, and online entrepreneur — passionate about helping you enhance your business, career, and lifestyle. Whether you need writing, editing, research, or online business development, I’m here to support your growth. My goal is to empower you to elevate your success and make a lasting impact in your field. You can connect to all my social media platforms through https://linktr.ee/ruthanitafoote
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